I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
