Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
