i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize