Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
