yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
