What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
this just has baby written all over it
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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