We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize