i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
