ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize