yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
