That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
