Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
