You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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