Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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