I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Floor bacon is actually really good
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
