my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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