I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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