Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
