i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
