Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize