it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
