he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize