Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
