i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
