This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
