okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
