I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize