went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
