Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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