ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
