why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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