wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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