Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize