How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
