did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
