she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
