I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
