i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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