So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
