But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
