should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
