I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Randomize
