Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
