How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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