At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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