So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
