it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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