mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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