her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
