I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
