Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
