You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
