You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
did you just send me my own nude
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
