There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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