Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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