he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
