so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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