u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
