just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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