I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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