Where did you get a picture of my penis
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
